Dowee's

O

kevinantiga:

I hate your big, beady eyes. I hate the way you taste. I hate the smell of your hair. I hate your body and the way it cried for an embrace. I hate your complexion for being as pristine and white like a pearl. I hate how you manage to resurface into my consciousness at random moments. 

I guess regret only comes when I realize that I only had you for one night and that we had to spend it drinking beer with friends. We could have spent it being alone in bed or on the couch just fucking or talking. I hope we didn’t let the world matter that night.

But you’re just crazy and clingy and charming and you adored an ungrateful boy. And I will always love you for making me feel alive. 

Thanks for letting me be a part of your Life, even for a night.

Double reblog, yes. 

(via stubbyboardman)

Excerpts II

• “It was never that bestfriend kind of care. It was something like a when-you-sleep-with-other-people-that-is-not-you’re-boyfriend-I-get-hurt type of care.

• “I don’t know what is scarier, a bad guy who turns out to be good OR a good guy who turns out to be bad. I don’t know.”

• “Women who break men’s hearts are heartless. They are made of pure evil.”

• “I don’t know who put into people’s minds that a woman’s tears is more valuable than a chunk of gold or something like that. I don’t know who said that women are even valuable.”

• “A thousand what ifs and what could’ve beens run daily into my mind. I don’t know why, but is it wrong to look at things with full of endless possibilities?”

Excerpts

• “Breaking people’s hearts are heartbreaking too.”

• “Time and time again, it’s proven that nothing lasts forever. So stop crying because you are at fault. You are the one who painted a magical world in which the two of you are gonna be together forever. Girls like you should embrace this one fact and live with it and once you’ve done that, you’ll sleep better at night.”

• “Treat everyday as if it’s the last day you’re gonna be together. As if tomorrow, you’ll have to break-up. That way, you’ll never take that person for granted. Ever. Cheers.”

• “Most men will say the darnedest things just to have you - to get laid. Most women will do the darnedest things just to make you fall - to have you do their bidding. I am not like most men. And you are not like most women. Isn’t it great?”

• “I will never tell you what and how I feel for you. Even if I loved you.”

Strangeness of Love

There is a strangeness in love that is plainly disgusting. It’s a vice. A political discourse, an aria of the soul.

A vice because we feel as if with it, time spent is an atmosphere better than the normal minute, so we indulge and indulge and swim. People often mistake vices (i.e. Alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs) to be something remarkable and beautiful, deviant at will. But they are not. They are stealthy forms of death. But then again, Man loves death. Fears it but is given life by it. Without the fear of death, one wouldn’t put much power and soul into anything. So I guess, we love chaos. Addicted to it —our favorite vice. Chaos then love. Love gives the tastiest kind of chaos, the most ridiculous torments. And bitter aftertastes. Ergo, we love love. 

A political discourse. Love is not romantic. It is politics and the fight for right government. Like a society fighting for invisible rights it thinks it deserves. Love is a conquering of each other’s mind and bodies, like reaching out beyond skin to skin, across kisses and romantic music. We conquer, we manipulate each other (even ourselves), persuasion and sometimes, corruption. Love is politics. Love is corrupt. All love wants is the illusion of selflessness on top of pure selfish desires. 

It is an aria of the soul. The soul does not sing. Nor does it dance and perform art. Why aria? Because love is the beautiful voice against a silent crowd. Like a theatre where every piece of audience knows not to speak not to even breathe loudly once lady prima donna sings. Love may be tainted, but it is our human longing. And almost an unsaid understanding among us stupid bipeds: that when one is in love, others know to keep silent and let the soul sing. 

See, love is strange. It is almost never beautiful. It is disgusting in all its oxymorons and paradoxes. It is never correct nor pure. It can never be all that, a hundred percent. Love has a thousand holes and crevices where our hands trace but never find much satiation. We conspire our true loves to be gorgeous. But it never really is. Upon looking back, words and actions, both said and unsaid, done and put aside —they all wash up into a pile of trash. Then again, before they become garbage, we have consumed its contents until they are utterly useless. Love feeds us, and the stains are left to trash. 

Then again, Man loves chaos and Man loves all disgusting things. 

Lipstick & Ice Cream

There are some days i just wanna go out and enjoy the day. Basically by myself. Company is great, awesome even but I do enjoy my time alone, sometimes I think a little more than others. To go around anywhere and everywhere without having to entertain anyone else but your own thoughts and impulses, it’s easier. Refreshing, cleansing, calming.

I want to go to a park, read, have a big scoop of Ice Cream (or maybe more than one), dress up pretty, put on make-up for myself (contrary to popular belief, women don’t doll themselves up for the sole purpose of attracting others, maybe we do it for ourselves and the plain fun of it), and play with the elements of nature. Take them all in. Just have fun. Even if alone. 

                                     Beyond Exams: A Reflection Paper

There is a lot to say about Embryology. Its detail, specificity and intense focus needed are only the premise of what the very subject is all about. And with that, the course was in a word, an adventure. Despite that extra coffee or energy drink, sleepless nights and memorization required, in this case, I can say the end justifies the means. All the terms I learned are pieces of information that you don’t get anywhere else but the classroom and through experienced professors. So setting that obvious part aside, I want to express what else exactly I’ve gained that may surpass any practical exam or short quiz.

            First is that life is so intricate. From the very first topic which was Gametogenesis, you can already see how much these minute instruments of life develop, then the different embryos presented with much nitpicking and understanding, I couldn’t help but realize along the way how we are all products of these very moments in development. How I myself, was a 10mm piece of life, a 24-hour chick, a mindless little microscope specimen. But all the while, growing. Breathing life thru every phase of maturity –pushing forward.

            Which brings me to my second point, that life is a never ending flow. How like our tiny specimens, we grow every single day. Both physically and the rest of our psyche. We age. We start out as a young fetus, we are born, innocent and fragile till we toughen ourselves up. We hit middle age, we grow wiser, grow white hair, make our own children untill inevitably our journey ends.  One has to pause and say, Isn’t life just wonderful?

            See, however romanticized my whole reflection may seem… it’s all true. Life and development is beautiful. From embryos to children to laughter, hurt, love and the rest of it –the technical parts of living and the intangible moments. They all comprise its beauty. Sometimes I wonder how we just breeze through it without giving a little notice to where we come from, how we got here. In biology I’ve learned all that. I’ve gathered science and knowledge but at the same time, I believe in it on a whole other level. Biology, embryology and every branch of it, they are the study of life. Life. What I breathe and what exactly I am right now.

            So whatever the end may be to this course, a passing grade or a failing one, nevertheless I am thankful for it. For the learning experience, however grueling, is exactly what matters. And what I shall carry on beyond every practical exam.

• Oh dear nonexistent Lord, let me pass!

Luxuries

I’d like to have the luxury to spend even just a day, with no mind for time, or responsibility. Where I can have tea or coffee and read a good book, feel the wind and see the sun, see the people around —take in the world. And when evening comes, a quiet dainty dinner with someone special, a few glasses of wine or champagne, laughter and some kisses. Later on, a few bottles of beer with a few friends, maybe see a live band or just walk, just talk. One mindless, guilt-free day. From sunrise to the next early morn. Where the morning after, I needn’t feel the burden to catch up or apologize for exquisitely wasting time.

Just one good relaxing day with absolutely no worries. That’s the luxury I’d like to have the most. 

O

kevinantiga:

I hate your big, beady eyes. I hate the way you taste. I hate the smell of your hair. I hate your body and the way it cried for an embrace. I hate your complexion for being as pristine and white like a pearl. I hate how you manage to resurface into my consciousness at random moments. 

I guess regret only comes when I realize that I only had you for one night and that we had to spend it drinking beer with friends. We could have spent it being alone in bed or on the couch just fucking or talking. I hope we didn’t let the world matter that night.

But you’re just crazy and clingy and charming and you adored an ungrateful boy. And I will always love you for making me feel alive. 

Thanks for letting me be a part of your Life, even for a night.