All at once we were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other; hopelessly I should add, because that frenzy of mutual possession might have been assuaged only by our actually imbibing and assimilating every particle of each other’s soul and flesh…
That ginger-lime scent that sticks on your clothes, your sweat, your cheeks that I always want brushed up against my own, whether through the accident within a daily embrace, or the times I fall asleep tactically creased within your arms.
The tang of your mouth seeping sweet beer and that earthy after taste of cigarettes, how it is soothing whenever it reaches my lips, rendering all brands of reprieve.
All this, a honey fabrication, like the perfect mix of almonds and apricots in a hundred glasses of amaretto,
I hate your big, beady eyes. I hate the way you taste. I hate the smell of your hair. I hate your body and the way it cried for an embrace. I hate your complexion for being as pristine and white like a pearl. I hate how you manage to resurface into my consciousness at random moments.
I guess regret only comes when I realize that I only had you for one night and that we had to spend it drinking beer with friends. We could have spent it being alone in bed or on the couch just fucking or talking. I hope we didn’t let the world matter that night.
But you’re just crazy and clingy and charming and you adored an ungrateful boy. And I will always love you for making me feel alive.
Thanks for letting me be a part of your Life, even for a night.
Tonight, in the infinitesimal light of the stars,
The trees and the flowers have been strewing their cool odors.
I walk among them, but none of them are noticing.
Sometimes I think that when I am sleeping
I must most perfectly resemble them —
Thoughts gone dim.